Women are free to spent the money any way they want to. Somewhere in my files I have a copy of an ad showing two smiling women on beach with the headline “Child Support Checks Accepted!” That is one of the major issues in the Father’s Rights Movement. Keep documenting everything as you have been and get ready to go for full custody. Her actions show a blatant disregard for the welfare of the children.
Remember, the movement IS having an impact – father’s are getting custody more often than ever before. Never think you can’t win.
Remember what Churchill said during WWII – “Whether we think we can win or we think we can’t, we will be right in the end.” One way to determine that child support is being spent on the child is to file a motion with the court requesting that the child support owed by both parents go into a bank trust fund, similar to what is used when parents are killed and a guardian is appointed. The custodial parent writes checks from the trust fund, covering expenses related to the child, and in accordance to the federal rules on trust funds. The only person she has to be accountable to is the bank, not the other parent, so you do not have the argument that the other parent is trying to control her.
If she violates the trust fund rules, they report this to the court, not the father. Naturally, this would also allow for any money not spent to sit and collect interest, to be used in emergencies or for college.